Flibbertigibbet News

The Truth about Goats

MI6 to recruit 1,000 unemployed steel workers

For a country still balls-deep in austerity, the UK has magically found millions of pounds to invest in false beards and pens that shoot lasers. This is great news for any steel worker from Port Talbot who wishes to retrain as spy, or any redundant BHS staff who feel equipped to deal with a terrorist threat or ‘another Sir Philip Green’.


It’s a secret where the money comes from

Any P45 can become 007 through a simple induction process of making love to a mysterious Russian agent and killing an assailant with your thumb.  Alex Younger, the chief of the Secret Intelligence Service, is yet to confirm if these will be zero-hour contracts but even he is not desperate enough to subcontract G4S.

Explained one Minister: ‘There’s always money squirreled away somewhere – just ask Amber Rudd about the Bahamas.  But it’s about presentation; if you want to bail out the NHS you need to disguise it as a sub-prime mortgage lender. And if more people in wheelchairs were shaped like nuclear submarines, we could fund them to’.

Given that over 25% of 16-24 yr-olds in Bradford, Middlesbrough, Swansea and Wolverhampton are now unemployed, they may struggle to master the clipped accent of a James Bond.  An MI6 spokeswoman insisted: ‘We need the extra staff to protect the UK from violent extremists hell-bent on destroying our democracy – Jeremy Corbyn isn’t going assassinate himself you know’.

Give Wrenfoe a piece of your mind

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.


This entry was posted on October 10, 2016 by in UK Defence and tagged , , , , .

Reformation (play script)

Prize Winners

Our readers described Flibbertigibbet News as ..."only slightly less accurate than the Daily Mail"(Dizzychick84) ..."clearly under-appreciated" (Sean Smithson)..."Half man, half goat. All Comedy"(JizzOSmith)..."the best reason for smirking at work" (DavidHollands) and ..."clearly an elaborate internet phishing scam!"(XangChek12)

Enter your email address to follow this blog and receive FREE notifications of new posts by email.

Join 9,448 other followers

Blog Stats

  • 44,858 fumbles

Follow Wrenfoe on Twitter


Award Winning

Reader Review

"It takes a sick and yet highly evolved mind to fully grasp the sophistication of your humor. I tried to explain this to my wife, who thought I was having convulsions as I lay on the floor laughing." (Mike Lince)

Flibbertigibbet Annual 2018

Flibbertigibbet Annual 2019

Flib Zealots

Flibbertigibbet Annual 2014

Flibbertigibbet Annual 2013

Flibbertigibbet Annual 2015

Flibbertigibbet Annual 2016

Flibbertigibbet Annual 2017

%d bloggers like this: