Flibbertigibbet News

The Truth about Goats

Boris pledges Syrians extra NHS funding


The Foreign Secretary made a series unsubstantiated promises to end the conflict in Syria – having already delivered so successfully on Brexit, homelessness in London and keeping his ‘Little Johnson’ in his trousers.  Unsurprisingly the British public seemed sceptical, as the only successful ‘no-fly zone’ he had ever inadvertently created was the one over Boris Island.

A spokeswoman for Mr. Johnson said: ‘Boris demands anti-war protestors be more selective in which of parts of the war they object to.  For instance, UK/US bombing is wholesome and democratizing, while Russian bombing is the work of paedophiles and Corbynistas.  Bombing hospitals is reprehensible – except when we get our Saudi friends to do it Yeman – then it’s called profiteering’.

Oddly in a week when the Prime Minister was keen to emphasize that we are ‘not’ citizens of the world, Mr. Johnson seemed very keen for someone else to step in to sort out this mess.  Ironically Theresa May also attacked human rights activists for prosecuting war crimes, leaving one lawyer to comment: ‘I’m not sure Boris understands what the International Criminal Court actually does.  He may be confused with ‘Thunderbirds’.’

Boris admitted that during the Brexit campaign he had over-promised; but that he felt confident that in the case of Syria, a cut immigration was definitely possible.  Addressing a doubtful House of Commons, the Foreign Secretary was heard to yell: ‘You get £350m! You get £350m! Everyone gets £350m!’

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

Information

This entry was posted on October 18, 2016 by in UK Defence and tagged , , , , , , , .

Reformation (play script)

Prize Winners

Our readers described Flibbertigibbet News as ..."only slightly less accurate than the Daily Mail"(Dizzychick84) ..."clearly under-appreciated" (Sean Smithson)..."Half man, half goat. All Comedy"(JizzOSmith)..."the best reason for smirking at work" (DavidHollands) and ..."clearly an elaborate internet phishing scam!"(XangChek12)

Enter your email address to follow this blog and receive FREE notifications of new posts by email.

Join 558 other followers

Blog Stats

  • 36,456 fumbles

Follow Wrenfoe on Twitter

By

Award Winning

Reader Review

"It takes a sick and yet highly evolved mind to fully grasp the sophistication of your humor. I tried to explain this to my wife, who thought I was having convulsions as I lay on the floor laughing." (Mike Lince)

Flib Zealots

Flibbertigibbet Annual 2014

Flibbertigibbet Annual 2013

Flibbertigibbet Annual 2015

Flibbertigibbet Annual 2016

Flibbertigibbet Annual 2017

%d bloggers like this: