Flibbertigibbet News

The Truth about Goats

Dentist identifies MP by his ‘dumb mouth’


Following on from calls by David Davies to x-ray migrants’ teeth, dentists have determined that the age of a Tory can be judged by the amount of bilge coming out of their mouth.  By measuring the volume of noxious gas, billowing out of their vacuous head, dentists can confidently place all Conservative policy as originating from a 1929 copy of Billy Bunter.

Ignoring the ethical breach and outright bad science behind his idea, the MP for Monmouth insisted that immigration rates could be reduced by taking a tough stance on dental amalgam.  He further claimed that it was a legitimate tool for measuring age – alongside carbon dating Syrians and cutting refugees in half, in order to ‘count their rings’.

A spokeswoman for Mr. Davies explained: ‘Teeth x-rays are far less controversial than giving them a tattoo or fetching star-shaped badge. Refugees need to be cute, blue-eyed and with a voice of an angel. Disneyesque preferably. Mr Davies likes them young. Although, now is probably not the time to talk about accusations of historical abuse’.

The British Dental Association insist that radiographs cannot accurately determine age, but a mouth filled with gold filings, fetid breath and a decomposing morality – is a sure sign you are a Conservative minister.  Mr Davies further warned of illegal immigrants entering country with false teeth, promising censures for dentures, a grilling for fillings and restrainers for retainers.

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

Information

This entry was posted on November 3, 2016 by in UK Defence and tagged , , , , , , , , .

Prize Winners

Our readers described Flibbertigibbet News as ..."only slightly less accurate than the Daily Mail"(Dizzychick84) ..."clearly under-appreciated" (Sean Smithson)..."Half man, half goat. All Comedy"(JizzOSmith)..."the best reason for smirking at work" (DavidHollands) and ..."clearly an elaborate internet phishing scam!"(XangChek12)

Enter your email address to follow this blog and receive FREE notifications of new posts by email.

Join 545 other followers

Blog Stats

  • 34,499 fumbles

Follow Wrenfoe on Twitter

By

Award Winning

Reader Review

"It takes a sick and yet highly evolved mind to fully grasp the sophistication of your humor. I tried to explain this to my wife, who thought I was having convulsions as I lay on the floor laughing." (Mike Lince)

Flib Zealots

Reformation (play script)

Flibbertigibbet Annual 2014

Flibbertigibbet Annual 2013

Flibbertigibbet Annual 2015

Flibbertigibbet Annual 2016

%d bloggers like this: