The Truth about Goats
The former Cabinet House-Elf, Michael Gove, has surprised the nation by acknowledging an oversight of the ‘tinsy-winsy variety’. Yet for someone who had previously dismissed fallibility as a sort of ‘patty made from chickpeas’; this admission is as unlikely as a Trump tax-return, a Trump skinhead or Trump moment judiciousness.
Up until now Mr. Gove’s political life had been an unheralded success; with the failure of the education system, justice system and the cluster-f@ck that is Brexit. We asked a friend of Mr. Gove to pass comment but struggled to find one, yet a passerby remarked: ‘He usually has all the moral certainty of Tony Blair giving witness testimony or Bill Cosby ordering a round of cocktails’.
Once the UK had passed around the collective smelling salts and overcome the shock, it became clear that Mr. Gove was only questioning a small part of his general dumb-foolery. His main regret was stabbing Boris Johnson in the back during the leadership campaign for the Conservative Party, saying in retrospect his weapon of choice would have been a stake through the heart.
Explained one scientist and bookie: ‘On the one hand you have Heisenberg’s Uncertainty Principle and, on the other, you have Mr. Gove – convinced that every one of his horrendous ideas is a good one’. Fortunately this nano-second of self-doubt will be a fleeting aberration, as Mr. Gove soon returns to what he does best, improving the nation – by writing for Rupert Murdoch.