The Truth about Goats
In a landmark ruling, the new President of the US has prioritized reducing the stigma attached to fatherly love and ‘pussy grabbing’; in a clear attempt to bring America and the Trump Family ‘closer together’. Speaking to journalists a spokesman said: ‘This is what the electorate wants. It’s been an arduous campaign and this is the least he – I mean ‘they’ – deserve’.
When pressed Mr. Trump was unclear as to whom this policy was designed for, but he heralded the new scream-resistant glass installed in The White House as an unmitigated success. Likewise he insisted that before he builds a wall around Mexico, he planned a dry-run, by fencing around his daughter’s bedroom.
At the time of the campaign many had found Mr Trump’s election slogan ‘Daddy gets, what Daddy wants’ as somewhat cryptic, as opposed to his more pointed – ‘Make daughters gyrate again’. Meanwhile the Canadian immigration website has crashed, after thousands of spam logins all registered under the name ‘Ivanka’.
Despite some prudes frowning upon a relationship between a President (70) and his a daughter (35) – Mr Trump insisted that he would overlook that she was too old for him. The spokesman explained: ‘Current polls still suggest a majority of the American public disapprove of incest – but you know how wrong these polls can be’.