The Truth about Goats
White House staff have been briefed to expect the President Elect, but Republican officials are yet to confirm if he will be arriving as Donald or his trans-identity – Juanita. So muddled has the process of transition been, that Mr. Trump has lost track of his election promises, his gender and his – already slim – grasp on reality.
While transitions of any kind can be traumatic, the emergence of an orange Juanita may be one change too many for an electorate unready for a female President. A Trump spokeswoman remarked: ‘Voters are not binary. Choosing between competent candidates – they want a third bat-shit-crazy option, such as Donald – I mean Juanita. And if he/she/it wants to offer a third or even fourth gender, then so be it’.
Many are fearful that a Presidential metamorphosis will be less caterpillar to a butterfly more of a prince to a toad. Yet Mr. Trump has promised that whatever his new identity it will be ‘really, really beautiful’ but not too ethnic.
Of course this is not the first time a new President has tried to redefine themselves; who can forget George W. as Forest Gump Clinton as Pepe Le Pew or Obama as the Kenyan founder of ISIS. Trump offered a reassurance that he would be President for all, a First Lady for some and a Border Guard for about three million Latinos.