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Hammond’s Autumn Statement makes Booker fiction list

The Chancellor is on course to win the nation’s top literary prize for a ‘completely fabricated’ depiction of the British economy.  With his mythical world of unicorns and balanced budgets, Mr. Hammond’s accounting has all the hallmarks of a contemporary fairy story, with more than a hint of ‘Grimm’ about it.

Critics have applauded his allegorical references to ‘The End of Days’ or Brexit as it is known.  One English teacher explained: ‘Boosting workers’ income and housebuilding, are clearly a dream sequence and not intended to be taken literally.  It’s magical realism. Creative accounting. Or as Hemmingway would have described it – a ‘crock of shit’.’

Hammond’s fantasy has elements of other great works – ‘Lord of the Flies’, ‘Catch 22’ and ‘The Hunger Games’ – while keeping the same dreary narrative of every other Tory Government.  Said one fan: ‘It reminds me of The Borrowers – if all their borrowing was from Wonga’.

Not only has he redefined fiction, Hammond has changed the value of numbers.  Should he win the £50,000 Man Booker Prize, Mr. Hammond has said he will not let the money change him; he promised he will still be a ‘d@ck’.  Future works of fiction are planned; like ‘Universal Healthcare’, ‘Free schooling’ and the abstract concept of human empathy.


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This entry was posted on December 7, 2016 by in UK Business and tagged , , , , , .

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