The Truth about Goats
While the Supreme Court mulls over legal ephemera, the real Brexit debate is to be re-visited by drunken relatives throughout the festive period. Emboldened by copious lashings of egg-nog, the UK’s unemployed Uncles have agreed to broach a variety of taboo subjects; ranging from immigration, the end of the British Raj and why women ‘shouldn’t be allowed’ to referee.
A heady cocktail of cocktails, is predicted to bring all manner of ill-considered opinions to the fore – like Nigel Farage with Tourettes. Normally shy family members will offer views on topics they were previously oblivious to, attempting to find solutions to global warming, liberating Aleppo and ‘who the feck ate my chocolate orange?’
By the time someone suggests shots of absinthe, no issue will be off limits – including Gran’s lumbago, your sister’s infidelities and the paucity of Xmas cracker toys. There remains one area that even the UN would fear to moderate and that is the contentious issue of TV scheduling; with Dad firmly remaining in possession of the remote control until New Year’s Day.
Home truths combined with a light sprinkling of racism will escalate throughout December, like a Christmas calendar where every window reveals a Daily Mail headline. An inebriated Britain will soon realise never again to mix alcohol with families, Europe with Boris Johnson or Hilary Clinton with popularity contests.