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Theresa May discovers antisemitism ‘is a thing’

With both fingers in the ears of history and her nose in the rectum of modernity , the Prime Minister has revealed that being ‘ghastly to Jews’ may be real.  Appalled by this startling new information Mrs May has promised to stamp out all hate crime, unless of course it was something Boris said.

Her spokesman explained: ‘The PM is not 100% what a Jew is – some kind of owl or daffodil maybe?  But they sound adorable.  Anyway we need to protect them.  Set up some sort of nature reserve – to protect them from urban foxes, liberal elites or Jeremy Corbyn dressed as Gandhi’.

Mrs May’s government has been rocked by a series of recent revelations including – the sky is blue, Scotland hates you and if you stop paying taxes, the NHS stops.  Yet more worryingly is the suspicion that poor people have souls and worse still –  votes.

Interestingly twice as many religiously motivated attacks are reported against Muslims, but Mrs May is yet to be convinced that ‘ they weren’t asking for it’.  Ironically she is not the first European leader in tight fitting leather pants, who has found that focusing on Jewish issues can help distract from a disorderly retreat in Europe.


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This entry was posted on January 10, 2017 by in UK Crime and tagged , , , , , .

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