The Truth about Goats
With the tattered remains of festive tinsel, Bishops throughout the land will now be stored back in the loft – alongside forgotten gym equipment, roofing felt and your furtive porn stash. Although inevitably, you will find a stray altar boy behind the sofa later in March.
Of course many households are torn between getting a real or fake clergyman, yet all agree you can not beat the smell of a freshly cut priest. Explained one devout shopper: ‘We only get our faith down for the Xmas period. After that we stuff our vicar back in a box, with his all shiny baubles and prayers’.
The tradition of using Christianity at Christmas dates back to the 1800s, when Prince Albert had a trappist monk erected in Trafalgar Square for the amusement of the pigeons. Nowadays households usually have a priest standing beside their TV in a bucket of water or hang illuminated clergy from their rooftops.
Sadly a numbet of bishops suffer damage in the loft, with the Archbishop of Canterbury once hollowed out by a family of rats. Some even suffer the indignity of having their sermons mulched or thrown in a skip. Months later the only memory of ‘Jesus Christ’ being your yell everytime you step on the pointy remains of a bishop stuck to your carpet.