The Truth about Goats
In an attempt to fulfil Roald Dahl’s dying wish, France’s far-right leader has proposed an end to free education for foreign children, locking them in ‘chokey’ style camps and finally hurling them by their pigtails back into The Channel.
Mrs Le Pen is France’s answer to Sarah Palin – running under the slogan: ‘I’m not as racist as my Dad’. Plagiarizing heavily from Dolores Umbridge, Mrs Le Pen has promised to remove all Syrian ‘muggles’ from the school sector and paint all their detention centres pink.
Remarked one Parisian: ‘Le Pen’s being trying to soften the National Front’s extremist image – by demonizing children. Which makes you wonder what the harder image would have been? Wearing a coat made of Dalmatians, with a winged monkey on her lap?’ Meanwhile, Mrs Le Pan warned there would be ‘no more playtime’ for immigrants, leaving many immigrants to wonder when the National Front has ever been ‘playful’ with them.
Running neck-and-neck in the Presidential election, Mrs Le Pen gives hope to any in favour of Grammar schools; provided you replace the 11+ with a Dulux colour chart. A supporter said: ‘Marine has been harshly criticised for likening Islamic prayers to fascism. But it takes one to know one’.