The Truth about Goats
Tired of Brexit discussions, Theresa May has decided to focus her fictitious EU negotiations on fictitious EU countries. Despite the previous incumbent being insulted by Rufus T. Firefly, the new ambassador will still be expected to achieve diplomatic immunity for Boris Johnson, make sweet love to ‘Mrs. Teasdale’ and eat their weight in Ferrero Rocher.
Welcoming trade negotiations with Prince Michael of Moldovia, Mrs May said that Britain’s future lay outside the EU – somewhere ‘near’ Loompa Land. Her spokesman remarked: ‘We may be leaving the EU but we’re hoping to improve ties with an assortment of made-up nations such as Vulgaria, Oceania and Wales.’
One confused British Diplomat commented: ‘No one understands the difference between a soft or hard Brexit, other than they both sound like stool samples. Although if you take the analogy further, the Prime Minister’s ‘red, white and blue’ exit would probably warrant a trip to the doctor’.
Pointing to the success of Grand Fenwick in retaining its independence, the Prime Minister assured business leaders that she would look for a free trade agreement similar to that of Arendelle – ‘but with less songs’. Mrs May insisted that not all her diplomacy was imagined and that she would be tackling the ‘small problem’ of immigration – starting with Lilliput.