The Truth about Goats
Detective Jane Tennison is set to return to the small screen, this time ably assisted by an ‘Amazon Echo’ speaker. While Chief Inspector Tennison begins the laborious process of gathering witness statements, ‘Constable Echo’ will sit discreetly in suspect’s bedrooms recording all incriminating discussion, while offering free two-day shipping.
The voice-controlled ‘Echo’ will mimic modern policing, which includes the capacity to wipe its hard drive of evidence but only if instructed by a member of Margaret Thatcher’s Cabinet. US police and detective serials have already made use of the Echo, although that has resulted in a disproportionate number of African-American convictions.
In 2015 the FBI attempted to use an iPhone to convict a gunman, but ultimately their star witness cracked under pressure. This has led to the public becoming wary that their electronic devices inform on them – with the worst atrocities witnessed by Hoover attachments.
In a plot twist, the Amazon device will refuse to share information, forcing Helen Mirren to extract data using a spotlight, a good-cop/bad-cop routine and truncheon-shaped usb stick. Despite this Detective Tennison will still be confronting the institutionalised sexism, but this time by simply quoting directly from Jeremy Clarkson’s ‘Grand Tour’.