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Theresa May to tackle ‘burning injustices’ with cranberry juice


The Prime Minister has promised wide-ranging social reforms to tackle yeast infections. As David Cameron’s ‘Big Society’ had helped tax havens get bigger, so will Theresa May’s ‘shared society’ increase share values; specifically in Trident, Anderson Shelters and Natural Yogurt.
A Downing Street spokeswoman explained: ‘Ever since taking office the Prime Minister has felt a growing sense of discomfort in her ‘southern counties’. Originally she dismissed it as an allergic reaction to working with Liam Fox but soon she realised that her modestly-priced leather trousers had created a burning injustice around her Jeremy Hunt’.
A doctor warned: ‘Ministers may experience a fiery sensation during urination or when taking the piss out of the electorate. There may be pain during intercourse, particularly while shafting the country’.
Fungus and a sense of social injustice can spread if left untreated and account for 80% of Jeremy Corbyn’s beard. While those working in the Foreign Office attest to seeing a cheesy white discharge, but have been told that Boris prefers the title Mr. Johnson.

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This entry was posted on January 30, 2017 by in UK Health and tagged , , , , , , .

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