The Truth about Goats
Pest control has confirmed that an elderly male is trapped underneath the floorboards of the West Wing and is refusing to be lured out, even with lucrative offers from the private sector and lifetime supply of cheese whiz. As his term as Vice-President draws to a close, friends confirm that Biden had become increasingly skittish, reverting to a feral democratic state – naked and growling about the merits of ‘Big Government’.
Joe has spent eight years marking his territory with his heady musk of Old Spice and unfettered bison; while the incoming President has been advised that Biden may have defected in the Resolute Desk. Likewise female members of the Trump clan have been warned to be vigilant for the touch of a ‘cold, dead hand’ around their waist
Biden, of course, is not the first V.P. to remain in The White House. Glimpses of a naked Dan Quayle can still be spied, furtively running around South Lawn, foraging for berries. Whereas Dick Cheney still endures in silver chains in the Situation Room, regularly fed raw Panda meat and the tears of infants.
President Trump has ordered that Biden be captured and sent to an ‘inappropriate-petting’ zoo. Yet, sustaining himself on a diet of insects and memories of a happier time, Joe can survive for an entire length of a Trump Presidency or for up to five weeks – which ever ends first.