Flibbertigibbet News

The Truth about Goats

Some singer ‘up the duff’


Parts of the internet were plunged into darkness and the earth stopped revolving on its axis, as Beyoncé achieved what most sixth-formers manage with only one bottle of cider.  Posing in a revealing bee-keeper’s outfit, Mrs Knowles-Carter flaunted her pregnancy with the shy retiring modesty of ‘Liberace on Ice’.

Gasped one reporter: ‘Hold the press – a woman of child-bearing age has undergone a chemical reaction.  And here’s the amazing coincidence – it’s the same reaction which has been repeated by her species billions of times before.  And its twins?  Well that’s never happened before!’  Said one fan:  ‘Its help put the whole Trump thing into context.  Everything’s going to be fine now.’

With 33 twins born out of every 1000 and steadily on the rise,  Beyoncé’s success has be heralded as a million to one shot – except by bookies, who would only give it 30-1.  Commented one bemused critic: ‘She’s a singer, so logically we’re not interested in her artistic output only her vaginal output.  Although to be fair, we’ve only ever been interested in her husband’s anal output.’

Scientists are yet to explain how the miracle conception occurred but they believe it may have involved rubbing two pieces of wood together.  Beyoncé has even upstaged Kim Kardashian’s successful attempt last year to mate with an endangered Panda. As always the huge PR team behind Beyoncé have tried to hype her pre-released mucus plug but may have mistaken that with one of Jay-Z’s albums.

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

Information

This entry was posted on February 28, 2017 by in International Lifestyle and tagged , , , , , .

Prize Winners

Our readers described Flibbertigibbet News as ..."only slightly less accurate than the Daily Mail"(Dizzychick84) ..."clearly under-appreciated" (Sean Smithson)..."Half man, half goat. All Comedy"(JizzOSmith)..."the best reason for smirking at work" (DavidHollands) and ..."clearly an elaborate internet phishing scam!"(XangChek12)

Enter your email address to follow this blog and receive FREE notifications of new posts by email.

Join 545 other followers

Blog Stats

  • 34,430 fumbles

Follow Wrenfoe on Twitter

By

Award Winning

Reader Review

"It takes a sick and yet highly evolved mind to fully grasp the sophistication of your humor. I tried to explain this to my wife, who thought I was having convulsions as I lay on the floor laughing." (Mike Lince)

Flib Zealots

Reformation (play script)

Flibbertigibbet Annual 2014

Flibbertigibbet Annual 2013

Flibbertigibbet Annual 2015

Flibbertigibbet Annual 2016

%d bloggers like this: