Flibbertigibbet News

The Truth about Goats

Fictional funding at an ‘all time’ high

In the face of further cuts to the public sector, the Government was keen to announce that ‘fairy-tale budgets’ were increasing, with services set to be funded by magic beans and letters to Santa.  Despite all branches of local government announcing record reductions, Theresa May insisted that all they need do is rub a magic lamp, catch a leprechaun or close down the local ginger-bread cottage-hospital.

Explained one minister: ‘How can we claim to pay more when everyone is receiving less? It’s simple; all the money goes to private contractors – to be laundered.  Once we’ve factored in their fee and a few hidden admin costs – like premium foie gras and fact-finding trips to Dubai – the money that’s left is pretty fictitious’.

Meanwhile, in the land of make-believe, the Department for Education claims to have spent £1.3bn recruiting new teachers – which works out as an implausible £40,000 bonus per graduate.  Said one NQT: ‘I’m yet to see this cash but I’ve been rewarded with unlimited supply of marking and a workload that would make Cinderella puke’.

Unfortunately for Mrs May, the ‘goose that lays the golden egg’ was privatised during the 80s and sold off for giblets – to a bunch of wolves, dressed as venture capitalists. A spokeswoman commented: ‘Once upon a time there was a magical kingdom of social fare. What happened to it? We stopped paying corporation tax.’

Give Wrenfoe a piece of your mind

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.


This entry was posted on March 9, 2017 by in UK News and tagged , , , , , , .

Reformation (play script)

Prize Winners

Our readers described Flibbertigibbet News as ..."only slightly less accurate than the Daily Mail"(Dizzychick84) ..."clearly under-appreciated" (Sean Smithson)..."Half man, half goat. All Comedy"(JizzOSmith)..."the best reason for smirking at work" (DavidHollands) and ..."clearly an elaborate internet phishing scam!"(XangChek12)

Enter your email address to follow this blog and receive FREE notifications of new posts by email.

Join 9,449 other followers

Blog Stats

  • 44,497 fumbles

Follow Wrenfoe on Twitter


Award Winning

Reader Review

"It takes a sick and yet highly evolved mind to fully grasp the sophistication of your humor. I tried to explain this to my wife, who thought I was having convulsions as I lay on the floor laughing." (Mike Lince)

Flibbertigibbet Annual 2018

Flibbertigibbet Annual 2019

Flib Zealots

Flibbertigibbet Annual 2014

Flibbertigibbet Annual 2013

Flibbertigibbet Annual 2015

Flibbertigibbet Annual 2016

Flibbertigibbet Annual 2017

%d bloggers like this: