The Truth about Goats
The UK’s prison service has, through woeful underfunding and an influx of illegal narcotics, taken on the characteristics of a Friday night in Newcastle. Fans of the reality show ‘Geordie Shore’ will be stunned by the similar frequency in prisons of ridiculous tattoos, tequila slammers and experimentation in simulated fellatio.
Undercover reporters claim that parts of prisons are now ‘no go’ areas for law enforcement officials, very much like Newcastle – but with more six-packs on display rather than exposed breasts. Drunk and riotous behaviour is commonplace – fuelled by illicit debauchery and a hopeless future…and the same is true in prison.
Ironically both Newcastle and the UK’s prisons have experienced a spike in tourism, proving that the British public prefer their drug induced immorality to come with a regional accent. Undercover footage shows dancing on tables, a barrage of swearing and sexually provocative content – and that’s just from the prison staff.
MTV have expressed an interest in commissioning a prison show but only if they provide a prison break to Magaluf. However MPs are concerned about glamourising being a Geordie, particularly given that many of the original cast are ‘still at large’.