The Truth about Goats
Ranging from Chuck Norris and ending with Oedipus many of us are ‘tough mother$ckers’, while others love their Mum just a bit too much. Whatever your predilection, this Sunday remembers those of us who laugh in the face of convention, burp in the face of death and dance in a leopard-print onesie.
Be it King Leonidas or ‘some dude getting his nut-sack waxed’, many of us are capable of feats of endurance that put us into the mother$cker category. Every time Sir Ranulph Fiennes gnawed off one of his own frostbitten toes, he knew that this is what makes a true man and a ‘delightful canape’.
While your father may brag that he ‘doodle-bopped’ your mum, to be a legitimate M-F, you need swallow pain like it was cheap cider. You need to take it on the chin, in the ear, up the orifice – any which way life wants to attack you – Brexit means Brexit.
Said one motherf$cker: ‘In the words of the immortal bard ‘I pity the fool’ that messes with me. I’m harder than Bruce Lee on Viagra’. Commented one actual mother: ‘Try squeezing a small adult out of your vagina and see how tough you are’.