The Truth about Goats
After much speculation, a leak to the Press has revealed that Donald Trump’s declared income in 2005 comprised of loose change found in his pocket and an invalid Starbucks’ loyalty card. Mr. Trump had attempted to pay a measly $5.3m in federal income tax on $150m income, putting him in the same tax bracket as Al Capone or ‘someone with a paper-round’.
Critics have questioned the legitimacy of a 4% income tax rate for a billionaire, even if he had submitted expenses including $100m in hairspray, fake tan and Kenyan birth certificates. Despite what it says on his return, the public are sceptical of Mr. Tump’s claim that he is ‘a single mother of six’ living on Wisconsin trailer park.
A White House spokeswoman explained: ‘The President is firmly against fake news and creative accounting; both of which lack the authenticity of creative news and fake accounting. Not only is Mexico going to pay for the Wall, but Mr. Trump has discovered that it’s tax deductible’.
Up until now Mr. Trump has refused to disclose his tax returns for fear of giving away the title to the next Harry Potter book. With only 46% of the popular vote, President Trump has simply made good on the promise of ‘no representation without taxation’