The Truth about Goats
With the withering wrath that only a mother knows, a bomb was dropped on an Afghan tunnel complex, with the attached message ‘You never phone me’. Unleashing the full fury of her disappointment, the US weapon was specifically designed to flush out, then ‘guilt-out’, enemy insurgents and forgetful sons.
Despite not wanting ‘to be a burden to anyone’, weighing in at 9,800kg, the ‘MOAB’ is the world’s largest non-nuclear device. The bomb itself is 9m long and capable of demanding to know why the leader of I.S. ‘won’t trim his beard’ and settle down with ‘a nice Jewish girl’?
MOAB has said she is saddened by all these martyrs and not a ‘grandchild in sight’. She confided: ‘All this talk of jihad is killing me. Well, it’s killing him. And his career? Fundamentalism? I suppose it’s an ‘ism’. But what’s an ‘ism’ it’s not an ‘ology’.’
The 300m-long network of caves was instantly destroyed, making it even more difficult for the I.S. troops to ‘tidy’ their room. Pentagon experts admit that the ‘Mother of All Bombs’ sounds like a terrible Native American name, but it was preferable to unleashing the ‘mother-in-law of all jokes’.