The Truth about Goats
After 20 years of running the UK, Anthony Charles Lynton Blair is finally considering relaxing his sphincter and relinquishing control of the UK’s Parliament. While a series of ‘fake PMs’ have fronted his organisation, Mr. Blair promised to continue his reign until the Labour becomes the SDP, James Corden becomes funny or until his ‘last Horcrux’ is discovered.
Pretending to resign in 2007, Mr. Blair quickly established ‘squatter’s rights’ in Downing Street, forcing Theresa May to live in a caravan park – for the second time in her life. Meanwhile Mr. Blair has been manipulating policy with sock-puppetry; involving a combination of Tom Watson, Katie Hopkins and half of ‘One Direction’.
Mr. Blair admitted that controlling both Labour and the Tory party was almost as exhausting as promoting war and peace simultaneously in the Middle East. As news of his resignation spread, crowds have begun lining the streets, armed with nooses, to mark the end of this popular era.
The Blair Decades have been described a benign – like a tumour, but without the positive connotations. Sadly critics have accused Mr. Blair of having a God-complex; although a spokeswoman admitted: ‘He’s not the messiah, he’s just a very naughty c$nt’