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If you vote Tory – ‘f$cking own it’!


With a General Election looming and a post-election depression inevitable, many Conservatives are looking for ways to continue their Faustian Pact, while retaining the right to ‘b$tch and moan’ about the state of the country.  Yet after seven years of Tory ineptitude, it has become increasingly hard to blame things on 9/11, Windows Vista, and High School the Musical.

Condemning the EU or the iPod Nano is not a luxury the voting public will have in the future; sadly, the Jonas Brothers and Nick Clegg are not here to stay.  Excuses have a shelf-life; and there is a nagging sense that collapsing schools and hospitals, rising child poverty and prison suicides might…just might…not be the fault ‘Heelys’ and skinny jeans.

Commented one confused voter: ‘A bit of misdirection is one thing – but how does it work that the Tories start Brexit, campaign for Brexit, celebrate Brexit – but somehow are not culpable? When a banker commits industrial scale fraud, why do we send the invoice to wheelchair users? Voting Conservative is doing the same thing over and over again, but expecting different results. ’

Through a combination Rohypnol and Jedi-mind tricks, Theresa May has got us all believing that our current woes are the result of the invention of Silly Bandz and the Fall of the Ottoman Empire.  A spokeswoman explained:  ‘Oh, it’s also the a fault of all those nasty immigrants. Pardon? Which  Home Secretary let them in? Um…er…Jeremy Corbyn?’

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2 comments on “If you vote Tory – ‘f$cking own it’!

  1. Ken Dowell
    May 4, 2017

    Here is the U.S. we blame Pancho Villa, net neutrality, the decline of coal and trading with Canada.

    • Wrenfoe
      May 4, 2017

      Damn those Canadians! They are too quiet, what are they up to?!? 😁

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This entry was posted on May 4, 2017 by in UK Politics and tagged , , , , , , , .

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