The Truth about Goats
The ex-Pm and future-inmate, Anthony Charles Lynton Blair, has surprisingly come out in favour of erasing pre-2005 World Records; particularly those that relate to WMD or that other ‘travesty in the sand’ – beach volleyball. Subsequently European Athletics hope to make a clean break from previous doping scandals or scandals involving ‘a dope called Tony’.
The current record holder for number of lies told under oath, Mr. Blair is also second behind Mick Jagger for ‘number of attempts’ on the wife of Rupert Murdoch. Mr. Blair also holds records in synchronized ‘diving into a war’, wrestling (with your conscience), followed by the 100m dash ‘out of office, pursued by the Geneva Convention’.
Mr. Blair would like to be judged on his athletic contributions since 2005, which involved High Jumping ethics, Fencing with Human Rights activists and Rowing the Labour Party back to the middle ground.
It will mean that other British competitors are due to lose their records, although Nick Clegg is said to be in favour, provided it includes 2010-15. Likewise Theresa May has said anything post-Brexit is best forgotten. While Diane Abbot has said the cut-off date should definitely be: ‘2007…1923…or was it 1643? 2030? Um…er…’