Flibbertigibbet News

The Truth about Goats

Custodial sentence for ‘meja studies’, says Judge


According to Judge Ian Pringle QC working towards a medical degree will now exempt you from prison but, he warned, those on the other end of the ‘talent’ spectrum should expect ritual dunking, conflagration within a wicker man or ‘life-imprisonment’ working on the tills at Sainsbury. 

He went on to explain, that rather than sentence the hopeless to a future of mediocrity, it was far more humane to pack them off to prison – where at least their sociology degree ‘would be of use’.  While many assumed Oxford graduates were already beyond the reach of law, regional accents and income tax; Judge Pringle has confirmed that under-graduates can expect a ‘get out jail free card’ to go with their Monopoly–themed ‘silver-spoon token’.

The Criminal Bar Association hinted that the Judge overstepped the mark, although colleagues say Mr. Pringle was unimpressed by the opinions of any lawyer ‘who only got a Desmond from a Poly’.

Meanwhile Lavinia Woodward, who stabbed her ex-boyfriend, said she now looked forward to putting her blade skills to good use in her future surgical career – alongside Doctor Jim Bowie.  Witnesses say they heard Judge saying, as he put on his black cap: ‘A combined degree in Dance and Golf management? Their life is already wasted. I’m doing them a favour’.

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

Information

This entry was posted on May 22, 2017 by in UK Crime and tagged , , , , , , .

Reformation (play script)

Prize Winners

Our readers described Flibbertigibbet News as ..."only slightly less accurate than the Daily Mail"(Dizzychick84) ..."clearly under-appreciated" (Sean Smithson)..."Half man, half goat. All Comedy"(JizzOSmith)..."the best reason for smirking at work" (DavidHollands) and ..."clearly an elaborate internet phishing scam!"(XangChek12)

Enter your email address to follow this blog and receive FREE notifications of new posts by email.

Join 558 other followers

Blog Stats

  • 36,456 fumbles

Follow Wrenfoe on Twitter

By

Award Winning

Reader Review

"It takes a sick and yet highly evolved mind to fully grasp the sophistication of your humor. I tried to explain this to my wife, who thought I was having convulsions as I lay on the floor laughing." (Mike Lince)

Flib Zealots

Flibbertigibbet Annual 2014

Flibbertigibbet Annual 2013

Flibbertigibbet Annual 2015

Flibbertigibbet Annual 2016

Flibbertigibbet Annual 2017

%d bloggers like this: