Flibbertigibbet News

The Truth about Goats

Guests ‘singularly unimpressed’ by toast rack

Despite offering the ‘red carpet treatment’ to visiting friends, Aisha and Matt Symonds have been given a less than glowing review for offering their guests special cutlery, parking privileges and the use of ‘the fancy towels’.  What should have been a weekend of bonhomie quickly became a critique of the host’s lack of gluten-free meal options and their miserly hoarding of the Wi-Fi password.

A disappointed Matt defended his decision to offer ‘instant’ rather than organically grinded free-range coffee: ‘We did everything we could to make them feel welcomed.  We laughed at their racist jokes, deliberately lost at Scrabble and I cleaned the loo – twice!  We even provided a series of tasteful, but impractically small, shampoo bottles – stolen from a range of exclusive hotels.’

Guests, Jermain and Sally, complained that: ‘To be frank we don’t really like them, so in visiting we expect a more refined service.  Where was the choice of cheese boards?  Our own spare key?  Moreover, the turn down service was practically non-existent. One couple we visited offered reflexology, loft storage and a suitcase-stand they’d whittled by hand.’

Remarked Aisha: ‘We were both very diplomatic; I didn’t mention his second wife or Brexit and Matt hardly ever stared at Sally’s boob job.  I took the dog’s blanket off the spare bed and we even muted our sex noises.  I almost don’t feel guilty now for having pissed in the soup.’


Give Wrenfoe a piece of your mind

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.


This entry was posted on May 31, 2017 by in UK Lifestyle and tagged , , , , , , , .

Reformation (play script)

Prize Winners

Our readers described Flibbertigibbet News as ..."only slightly less accurate than the Daily Mail"(Dizzychick84) ..."clearly under-appreciated" (Sean Smithson)..."Half man, half goat. All Comedy"(JizzOSmith)..."the best reason for smirking at work" (DavidHollands) and ..."clearly an elaborate internet phishing scam!"(XangChek12)

Enter your email address to follow this blog and receive FREE notifications of new posts by email.

Join 9,617 other followers

Blog Stats

  • 42,666 fumbles

Follow Wrenfoe on Twitter


Award Winning

Reader Review

"It takes a sick and yet highly evolved mind to fully grasp the sophistication of your humor. I tried to explain this to my wife, who thought I was having convulsions as I lay on the floor laughing." (Mike Lince)

Flibbertigibbet Annual 2018

Flib Zealots

Flibbertigibbet Annual 2014

Flibbertigibbet Annual 2013

Flibbertigibbet Annual 2015

Flibbertigibbet Annual 2016

Flibbertigibbet Annual 2017

%d bloggers like this: