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Theresa May found with Lord Lucan


The UK Missing Persons Bureau has called off the search for the UK’s Prime Minister, having found her in an attic above 10 Downing Street, alongside Elvis, a stash of Nazi gold and the Lindbergh Baby.  Many had feared the worse when Mrs May stopped attending interviews and answering questions, although others put that down to two years of PMQ’s with Jeremy Corbyn.

Last seen, by twenty photographers, pointing at random machinery in an empty factory; Mrs May had proved increasingly elusive on the campaign trail – given often to hiding in hard to reach places, like Scotland or her husband’s tax returns.  Phobic of open spaces, TV debates and voters, Mrs May had promised ‘strong, stable leadership’ all from within the confines of a locked wardrobe.

Aides attest to Mrs May starting to blend into her environment, as a defence mechanism, leading to the popularity of the children’s book ‘Where’s the Wally?’.  Meanwhile, police say, she initially disappeared in the Bermuda Triangle – along with her manifesto, Brexit negotiations and a host of other fanciful concepts.

Relatives of Mrs May have struggled to readjust to having her around again, but say it is ‘moderately less awkward’ than the reunion of the Fritzl family.  Police are keen to question Mrs May about her connection to other missing items, such as Amelia Earhart’s crashed aeroplane, the Jules Rimet trophy and the Conservative Party’s conscience.

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This entry was posted on June 1, 2017 by in UK Crime and tagged , , , , , , , .

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