Flibbertigibbet News

The Truth about Goats

‘Don’t worry, I got this covered’ says May

Surrounded by canned goods, Theresa May sent out a reassuring message to the British public, deep from within the bowels of No.10’s bespoke nuclear bunker.  Strapping on a bullet-proof vest, Mrs May emphasized that everything was ‘fine’ and that there should be no cause for alarm – provided we all know CPR, have a plentiful supply of ammo and knowledge of how to skin a fox.

A Downing Street spokeswoman paused from stockpiling medication, to explain: ‘Austerity means not wasting money on public services when there’s not a disaster. Likewise, when a disaster occurs, it would be profligate to fund emergency services when all the public are now dead. They just wouldn’t appreciate the benefits.’

‘Some of you, will be touched by recent tragedies, while others will be affected by the catastrophes we’ve planned – either way, we are all in this together – we just don’t have a life jacket in your size. But never fear, we value the lives of ordinary people – certainly as a reliable source of organ donation’.

Mrs May said that public safety was her priority and that she was pleased to launch her own branded ‘strong and stable™’ survival kits (retailing at £499); containing winter fuel, a school lunch and the ‘Brexit Guide to living on Boiled Shoe’.  The Prime Minister promised to do everything she could to reduce poverty – starting with the poor people.

Give Wrenfoe a piece of your mind

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.


This entry was posted on June 20, 2017 by in UK News and tagged , , , , , , , , , .

Reformation (play script)

Prize Winners

Our readers described Flibbertigibbet News as ..."only slightly less accurate than the Daily Mail"(Dizzychick84) ..."clearly under-appreciated" (Sean Smithson)..."Half man, half goat. All Comedy"(JizzOSmith)..."the best reason for smirking at work" (DavidHollands) and ..."clearly an elaborate internet phishing scam!"(XangChek12)

Enter your email address to follow this blog and receive FREE notifications of new posts by email.

Join 9,448 other followers

Blog Stats

  • 44,858 fumbles

Follow Wrenfoe on Twitter


Award Winning

Reader Review

"It takes a sick and yet highly evolved mind to fully grasp the sophistication of your humor. I tried to explain this to my wife, who thought I was having convulsions as I lay on the floor laughing." (Mike Lince)

Flibbertigibbet Annual 2018

Flibbertigibbet Annual 2019

Flib Zealots

Flibbertigibbet Annual 2014

Flibbertigibbet Annual 2013

Flibbertigibbet Annual 2015

Flibbertigibbet Annual 2016

Flibbertigibbet Annual 2017

%d bloggers like this: