The Truth about Goats
The G20 summit was surprised to find that Ivanka Trump had assumed the mantle of President of the United States, Lord of Twitter and Protector of the Seven Kingdoms (all except Mexico). The similarities with Game of Thrones is remarkable; with one Queen replacing a despised man-child, who has all the self-restraint of wart-hog on methamphetamines and the other being Cersei Lannister.
Meanwhile Donald Trump had absented himself to meet with the Indonesian leader and to ‘meat’ with Miss Indonesian. This left Ivanka making executive decisions for the US, committing all G20 leaders to ‘buy her Summer range’ and an evening of canasta with Jared Kushner.
George R. R. Martin has denied creating Ivanka, saying that he was not responsible for every blonde sociopath, with Daddy-issues. After all, one is hounded by incest rumours and mocks her brother’s unfortunate appearance and the other is Cersei Lannister.
Despite this, Ivanka is said to be an intimate of her father’s inner circle but she has always denied such a euphemism. She dismissed concerns that she was unelected, reminding the press not forget what happened High Sparrow James Comey; after all ‘a Trump never pays his debts’.