The Truth about Goats
A year after the ‘Who put Pinocchio in charge?’ report was published, Sir John Chilcot has felt the need to clarify his position on everyone’s favourite ‘lying sack of sh$t’. Without wanting to be misinterpreted, Sir John explained that Mr. Blair had all the veracity of a Lance Armstrong urine sample.
A spokeswoman explained: ‘Sir John wanted to make clear the distinction between a perjurious crap-weasel and that of dissembling snake, that would eat its own young if there was a vote in it. Mr. Blair is neither of these things – he’s worse’.
Meanwhile Mr. Blair’s representatives added to the confusion, by claiming that this was a glowing endorsement of one of the world’s most beloved philanthropists and Michael Sheen impressionists. They went on to claim that ‘liar’ was in fact the ancient Arabic phrase, meaning: ‘he who brings peace to the Middle East and rids us of all this troublesome oil’.
The spokeswoman continued: ‘Am I being too subtle? Let me draw you a picture. Here is a picture of some Weapons of Mass Destruction. Yes, I know, it’s a blank page. Do you not get it? Mr. Blair is a big fat liar. Is that based on Sir John’s belief? Nope, it’s a fact’.