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Chilcot: ‘Blair is a lying bastard, I’m not sure I can be any clearer?’

A year after the ‘Who put Pinocchio in charge?’ report was published, Sir John Chilcot has felt the need to clarify his position on everyone’s favourite ‘lying sack of sh$t’.  Without wanting to be misinterpreted, Sir John explained that Mr. Blair had all the veracity of a Lance Armstrong urine sample.

A spokeswoman explained: ‘Sir John wanted to make clear the distinction between a perjurious crap-weasel and that of dissembling snake, that would eat its own young if there was a vote in it.  Mr. Blair is neither of these things – he’s worse’.

Meanwhile Mr. Blair’s representatives added to the confusion, by claiming that this was a glowing endorsement of one of the world’s most beloved philanthropists and Michael Sheen impressionists.  They went on to claim that ‘liar’ was in fact the ancient Arabic phrase, meaning: ‘he who brings peace to the Middle East and rids us of all this troublesome oil’.

The spokeswoman continued: ‘Am I being too subtle? Let me draw you a picture. Here is a picture of some Weapons of Mass Destruction.  Yes, I know, it’s a blank page.  Do you not get it?  Mr. Blair is a big fat liar.  Is that based on Sir John’s belief? Nope, it’s a fact’.

2 comments on “Chilcot: ‘Blair is a lying bastard, I’m not sure I can be any clearer?’

  1. Inchcock
    July 12, 2017

    I like it, Sir.
    As Quomodocunquising Philargyrist’s go, Blair is one of the best, I reckon. Cheers.


  2. Wrenfoe
    July 12, 2017




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This entry was posted on July 12, 2017 by in UK Crime and tagged , , , , , .

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