Flibbertigibbet News

The Truth about Goats

Hammond: ‘Public servants are oversexed, overpaid and over here’


While plucky Brexit Ministers are fighting for our freedom on the Continent, many public workers stationed in Britain are flaunting their wealth.  Firefighters line the streets offering nylons and cigarettes to coax Hedge Fund Managers into a sexual dalliance; while any Banker lured into marriage is referred to as ‘PFI bride’.

The Chancellor explained that NHS ancillary staff and lifeguards were swanning around in their Sherman tanks – ignoring the threat from Europe – and should go back to where they came from – probably Poland. Mr. Hammond warned that Nuclear Maintenance Engineers would ravish our native women, seducing them with the offer of half a bar of Dairy Milk.

Sadly, many an Investment Analyst will likely want to supplement their income with a little impromptu whoring, and a dashing Social Worker is likely to prove too tempting to resist.  Up and down the land, village halls reverberate to the sound of new-fangled Jazz music, while CEO’s swoon to the charms of a glamorous Prison Officer.

Mr. Hammond explained public sector workers get a 10% ‘premium’, which was the tip he gave them for holding his top hat and cane.  With this extra income, it would be too easy for a teacher to seduce Stockbroker, who suffers from being ‘undertaxed, under-handed and under-investigation’.

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

Information

This entry was posted on July 18, 2017 by in UK Lifestyle and tagged , , , , , , .

Prize Winners

Our readers described Flibbertigibbet News as ..."only slightly less accurate than the Daily Mail"(Dizzychick84) ..."clearly under-appreciated" (Sean Smithson)..."Half man, half goat. All Comedy"(JizzOSmith)..."the best reason for smirking at work" (DavidHollands) and ..."clearly an elaborate internet phishing scam!"(XangChek12)

Enter your email address to follow this blog and receive FREE notifications of new posts by email.

Join 549 other followers

Blog Stats

  • 35,298 fumbles

Follow Wrenfoe on Twitter

By

Award Winning

Reader Review

"It takes a sick and yet highly evolved mind to fully grasp the sophistication of your humor. I tried to explain this to my wife, who thought I was having convulsions as I lay on the floor laughing." (Mike Lince)

Flib Zealots

Reformation (play script)

Flibbertigibbet Annual 2014

Flibbertigibbet Annual 2013

Flibbertigibbet Annual 2015

Flibbertigibbet Annual 2016

%d bloggers like this: