The Truth about Goats
Many of those hoping for answers to the recent fire disaster, were pleased to see the Government provide full disclosure on Mary Berry’s Saga fund – the primary cause of cheap cladding. Instead of prioritizing meaningless housing reform, Theresa May has sensibly tackled the flammable risk posed by ‘wodges of filthy lucre’ piling up in Jeremy Vine’s solarium.
Finally, anger towards Kensington and Chelsea Council has abated, thanks to the knowledge that Chris Evans’ smugness is perfectly justified – and at £2.4m is probably quite restrained. Never more will a scurrilous Landlord or Developer flout fire regulations, now that we know that Claudia Winkleman earns more than Tess Daly.
Remarked one survivor: ‘Thank goodness the Tories aren’t trying to distract from their wholescale corruption and incompetence. No one could accuse them of pretending there isn’t a crisis with Brexit or Graham Norton’s skittles demand. I’m just pleased that the scandal of Clare Balding’s pay differential is finally being addressed’.
Arguably, the first duty of any Government is to protect its citizens, but the second duty is to stop ‘Jacuzzi-Wednesday’ with the cast of ‘Casualty’ and to put an end to John Humphrey’s bling. A spokesman for Gary Linekar admitted: ‘Clearly with regards the BBC, public sector workers are over-paid – except in the case of Alan Shearer, who is a legend!’