The Truth about Goats
Many are sceptical that Beyoncé’s one-month old son has made sufficient enough contribution to the British Empire, to have been awarded a knighthood. Friends confirm that ‘Sir Carter’ has mainly been focused on ‘dissing Saint West’ and shitting himself – yet that is still more useful than anything done by Sir Philip Green.
Ironically, ‘Rumi’ has been relatively easy name for Beyoncé to trademark, despite a slight overlap with how estate agents describe one bedroom flats in London. Whereas ‘Sir’ has been in circulation since the Middle Ages, although was not in regular usage until Lulu came along.
Jay-Z insisted that no bribes led to the peerage, explaining ‘Money Ain’t a Thang’; while his legal representative, Jermaine Dupri, said: ‘Save all your accolades, just the dough, My game is wide, all lames aside, Tryin to stay alive, hundred thou’ for the bracelet’. The bracelet in question is clearly the ‘Order of the Garter’ and Jay-Z put the blame on ‘money cash hoes, money cash hoes’, which was confirmed by Buckingham Palace in a statement: ‘Got plenty hoes because we gettin that money my nigga’.
Opinions are split on whether ‘Sir Carter’ has devalued Knighthoods, although Sir Fred Goodwin, Sir Robert Mugabe and the Black Knight might have something to say about that. That said, Jay-Z is clear that as knights go – nothing is worse than a ‘night with the Kardashians’.