Flibbertigibbet News

The Truth about Goats

Self-drive Lorry serial-killers launched


Mysterious unmarked vans and lorries will be trialled throughout the UK, each carrying a robot capable of committing untraceable sex-crimes, while quoting from ‘Smokey & the Bandit’.  Then with the … Continue reading

August 31, 2017 · Leave a comment

GCSEs – Now in Nectar points


By popular demand, the grading system for secondary qualifications will now be number based; allowing pupils to accumulate evouchers at Pizza Express or six months of job seekers’ allowance.  This … Continue reading

August 30, 2017 · Leave a comment

Afghanistan replaces Hawaii as 50th State


With further increases in army deployment promised, Afghanistan’s U.S. population is now so large, that this Islamic Republic has successfully applied for statehood. Not wanting to deal with the administration … Continue reading

August 29, 2017 · Leave a comment

Mayweather vs Batman next


With the inevitable spiralling decay that is televised sports, a jaded public have demanded increasingly implausible grudge fights – from Taylor Swift vs. Groping to Trump vs. Godzilla.  The latest of … Continue reading

August 28, 2017 · Leave a comment

Caption Competition: US voters opt for another horny old goat


WINNER: US voters opt for another horny old goat (from TypeLikeToast) This month’s photo come courtesy of: bbc.com DATE: 26th Aug 2017 RUNNERS UP Queen refuses to abdicate (JohnoWilkes) He … Continue reading

August 26, 2017 · 1 Comment

End of Days feels a bit like the 70s


As we rush towards Armageddon, observers have noted that there are less fiery lakes and zombie hordes than expected – and a lot more bin strikes. With nuclear threat, a … Continue reading

August 24, 2017 · Leave a comment

Scottish ‘baby in a box’ scheme to be served with ‘chippie sauce’


Scotland is set to serve ‘baby in a basket’ across a range of establishments, complete with a bed of chips, coleslaw and a touch of 70’s nostalgia. Baby boxes with … Continue reading

August 23, 2017 · Leave a comment

Mo Farah just grateful to see the back of Quorn


Although finishing his competitive career with a disappointing Silver, in the 5,000m, Mo Farah expressed his relief that he no longer needed to maintain the charade of liking meat-substitute fungus.  … Continue reading

August 22, 2017 · 2 Comments

North Korea asks – Do you feel lucky? Well? Do ya, punk?


Unsure as to whether they had recently tested six intercontinental ballistic missiles or only five, the DPRK [Democratic People’s Republic of Korea] increased their rhetoric against the US by waving … Continue reading

August 21, 2017 · Leave a comment

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