The Truth about Goats
Fans are still decide on the merits of Jodie Whittaker as the new Time Lord/Lady, but many question the medical legitimacy of someone who has to pee sitting down. ‘As we know all nurses are girls,’ explained irascible chief surgeon, Sir Lancelot Spratt. ‘And top totty to boot.’
As ‘Nurse Who’, Miss Whittaker will be qualified to give bed baths to Cybermen and use Daleks to administer rectal probes. She will not, however, be permitted to do complicated male activities – such as diagnose farts, sit on her own testicle or earn a full wage.
Explained one Whovian: ‘Time travel aside, this show is grounded in realism. Women are nurses. And nurses are Polish. And Miss Whittaker will not even be allowed a sonic screwdriver, as the sight of a female electrician is too implausible’.
Challenging gender perceptions is fraught with danger, as was apparent with BBC’s disastrous re-boot of ‘Call the Midwife’ starring the ‘The Hairy Bikers’. One female fan commented: ‘I also want a plausible Doctor – but that would involve strike action and a 1% pay freeze’.