The Truth about Goats
Gazing at workmen assembling scaffolding outside his office window, Joshua Millingsworth (29) told all within earshot, that working class people ‘don’t have a care in the world’. Based on years of anecdotal non-scientific research, Joshua concluded that labourers were ‘damned lucky’ not have to deal with spreadsheets and were clearly as happy as ‘pigs in shit’.
In an ever-so patronizing, some-what too loud, voice Joshua declared: ‘It’s like glamping but without the ghastly music. All that fresh air, hmmm? And it’s cheaper than joining a gym. They’re all at one with nature – look, that fellow’s got a neck tattoo shaped like a duck!.’
Admiring the zen-like state of one hod-carrier, Joshua concluded that there was no better way to de-stess; than to experience the hydrotherapy of getting rained on, the nutritional benefits of a Greggs’ pasty or enjoy a powerwalk backwards and forwards to a skip.
‘You’ve got yoga stretching as you assemble the scaffolding and endorphin highs every time you slip. Sweating helps circulation, detoxification and makes its own grounding aroma cocoon. These guys have got it made; I bet they don’t even know what RSI is?’