The Truth about Goats
With the inevitable spiralling decay that is televised sports, a jaded public have demanded increasingly implausible grudge fights – from Taylor Swift vs. Groping to Trump vs. Godzilla. The latest of which is to pitch Floyd Mayweather Jr against the comic book universe – starting with the Dark Knight and probably ending with Pingu.
At the weigh-in, Batman came in at 224 lbs but minus his armour was 7 stone, with a great deal of chaffing in the groinal area. We are not sure for whom the bout is more embarrassing, but both men acknowledge that the careers have been on the slide after fighting a series of disappointing jokers
Sadly Batman will not be allowed his myriad of gadgets in the ring, having to rely on his Greco-Roman wrestling skills, from years sent sparring with Robin. In his corner will be Alfred the Butler, not as a ‘cut man’ but to serve hors d’oeuvres
Said one experienced boxing commentator: ‘On one level, we’ve cynically exploited an oversaturated entertainment market but on another level this is something new. Some fight fans may be disappointed to see an obscenely expensive fake conflict but that never stopped them enjoying Brexit’.