The Truth about Goats
The former Press Secretary has admitted that the nausea associated with being President Trump’s mouthpiece, did not prepare him for the full horror of a snog from James Corden. Despite once having Trump oozing out of every orifice, Mr. Spicer admitted that only Mr. Corden had made him feel as dirty as a North Korean bomb.
Mr. Spicer’s TV appearance had initially appeared to be an all-time low for the Emmys in terms of taste, creativity and integrity – but no one had factored in James Corden, or seen ‘Lesbian Vampire Killers’. Instead the after party became an aftermath of tonsil-tennis and Spicer slurpees, with fainting guests describing it as more stomach-churning than Corden’s cringe-worthy interview technique.
Friends of Mr. Spicer say that he instantly felt ‘sick in his mouth’ and in his ‘soul’ – while friends of Mr. Corden, just felt sorry for themselves. Remarked one observer, as he gagged: ‘Swallowing Republican bile and regurgitating it over the White House Press Corp, is one thing. But it’s a whole other level, having James Corden’s tongue down your throat’.
Having gone from the Voice of Trump to the Spittoon of Corden, Mr. Spicer would be hard-pressed to find rock bottom, now that he has entered the Earth’s core of depravity. A friend defended Mr. Spicer said: ‘Nobody wants to be an apologist for one of the world’s must derided individuals, but if its good enough for Corden’s agent…’.