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The Truth about Goats

You’re not multitasking, you’re just not concentrating

Scientists have finally called bullsh$t on the phrase ‘multi-task’; which has become an umbrella term for ‘not finishing’ the job in hand. Instead, prevaricators now use the phrase to cover a combination of ADHD, bad manners and a concentration span that would put a goldfish to shame.

Rather than some amazing feat of plate spinning, most multi-taskers are perpetually surrounded by enough broken crockery to fill a Greek wedding.  Experts now agree that teenagers are not multi-tasking when they cross the road while reading their smart device – they are simply doing their bit for organ donation.

Most parents who claim to be multi-tasking with the care of their children, invariably overlook small details – such as matching socks or that the child has been missing since August.  Scientists will say that posting to social media while taking a sh$t is not an achievement; in fact, some might argue it is repeating the same task or at very least, a ‘Facetime’ disaster waiting to happen.

Commented one scientist: ‘You only have to look at Donald Trump tweeting in the middle of a nuclear crisis – if he keeps hitting send before spellcheck, God knows what he’ll do with the launch codes. Most of us just need to finish what we started, although in the case of Trump, that might not be such a good idea’.


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This entry was posted on September 27, 2017 by in UK Science and tagged , , , , , .

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