Flibbertigibbet News

The Truth about Goats

Terrorist dies tragically of ‘shooter’s elbow’

In light of recent killings, the National Rifle Association has been quick to highlight the perils of using a fully automated weapon; without appropriate strapping, access to a trained reflexologist or a ‘comfy pillow to rest your arms on’.  The NRA proposes that machine guns be required to carry a sticker, warning of the muscle tear from shooting your hundredth passer-by and the ‘mild chaffing’ every time you reload.

An NRA spokeswoman said: ‘Spare a thought for those suffering from repetitive stress injuries, received while instigating a harmless massacre.  We have reports from lone gunman, of fingers painfully locking in a trigger formation or neck strain from leaning out of a Texas Book Depository’.

Modern arsenals are significantly heavier than the muskets carried by the Minutemen, with many would-be assassins forced into early retirement by slipped discs, trying to lift rocket-launchers off the shelves of their local Wal-mart.  Sadly the untold victims of ‘shooter’s elbow’ too often have their stories drowned out by insensitive bystanders, who keep blathering on about some gunshot wound they just received.

The spokeswoman illustrated the dilemma, by pointing to her standard issue M134 General Electric Minigun – her hand-gun of choice: ‘These require a lot of strength to carry and can only really be lightened by emptying all the bullets into a local High School. Remember, guns don’t kill people. But they can lead to injuries to muscle fiber or tendons. Ouchies!’

Give Wrenfoe a piece of your mind

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.


This entry was posted on October 9, 2017 by in International Crime and tagged , , , , , , .

Reformation (play script)

Prize Winners

Our readers described Flibbertigibbet News as ..."only slightly less accurate than the Daily Mail"(Dizzychick84) ..."clearly under-appreciated" (Sean Smithson)..."Half man, half goat. All Comedy"(JizzOSmith)..."the best reason for smirking at work" (DavidHollands) and ..."clearly an elaborate internet phishing scam!"(XangChek12)

Enter your email address to follow this blog and receive FREE notifications of new posts by email.

Join 9,449 other followers

Blog Stats

  • 44,833 fumbles

Follow Wrenfoe on Twitter


Award Winning

Reader Review

"It takes a sick and yet highly evolved mind to fully grasp the sophistication of your humor. I tried to explain this to my wife, who thought I was having convulsions as I lay on the floor laughing." (Mike Lince)

Flibbertigibbet Annual 2018

Flibbertigibbet Annual 2019

Flib Zealots

Flibbertigibbet Annual 2014

Flibbertigibbet Annual 2013

Flibbertigibbet Annual 2015

Flibbertigibbet Annual 2016

Flibbertigibbet Annual 2017

%d bloggers like this: