The Truth about Goats
Following the revelation that the outgoing the International Development Secretary attempted to subsidize the Israeli army with Foreign Aid, it transpires that Priti Patel also tried to claim Cold Weather Payments for pensioners in Tel Aviv and Disability Living Allowance for Uri Geller.
Using money intended for charitable or humanitarian causes, the UK (in 2016) has inadvertently funded the assassination of Muhammad Al-Zuari with a School Uniform Allowance and 500 Nectar points. More worrying still, is that President Reuven Rivlin has, for the last ten years, been claiming housing benefit for a tenement flat in Glasgow.
By bankrolling the Israeli army with unemployment support, Priti Patel can insist that Mossad’s covert operatives stack shelves at their local Sainsbury; for minimum wage and ‘all the hummus they can eat’.
Critics of the UK Government have questioned whether Benjamin Netanyahu can still be on Maternity Allowance. One said: ‘It’s outrageous that part of our £13bn of foreign aid could go towards an illegal Israeli occupation – that’s what Eurovision is for’.