The Truth about Goats
Broadcaster and professional bear-baiter, Katie Hopkins has left the MailOnline in order to spend more time with her family of winged monkeys and her nagging sense of self-loathing. Her agent explained she wanted to explore solo ventures; spreading her own brand of love, McCarthyism and colon cancer.
At times a controversial figure, Hopkins has stridently insisted that that Brexit means Brexit and that The Rapture means The Rapture. Sadly many fans of Deathmetal, will be disappointed with the split, having been eagerly awaiting her next column, with its usual themes of Lovecraftian horror, torture and immigration control.
A spokesman for the Mail insisted: ‘That this is just a temporary split, to explore new avenues of hate. We are hoping that they will still be available for a reunion concert; performing their greatest hits – bogus health reports, Islamophobia and getting sued for libel’.
Her agent confirmed that Hopkins is hoping to release some new musical material: ‘…reflecting her rancor, nihilism and commitment to atonal mutilation – so a bit like Coldplay’.