The Truth about Goats
GQ magazine has nominated deceased Tory War Minister, John Profumo, as ‘Shagger of the Year’, for his total commitment to getting his end away with a variety of spies. Unconcerned by partisan politics or martial vows, Mr. Profumo single-handedly straddled the political divide and many a woman.
Declassified papers show that Profumo was actively chasing throughout the 30s-60s, anything in a skirt, aged 30-60. MI5 documents suggest that Profumo had worked his way through most of the Third Reich, with the ultimate aim of a three-way between Eva Braun and Stalin’s shorthand typist.
Mr. Profumo came top of the bloke’s bloke poll, partly for being a prime security risk but mainly for being ‘an absolute player’. Meanwhile, MP’s have suggested that statue should be erected to commemorate his wartime erection.
His biographer commented: ‘John bravely penetrated behind both the iron and the beef curtain. He left his mark on politics and hotel linen. He ensured that British security only extended as far as contraception’.