The Truth about Goats
In what is seen as ‘overly elaborate’ plan to stop electricity blackouts interrupting cricket coverage, Southern Australians have installed 100-megawatt batteries into every remote control and mini-fridge. Also, weighing in at several tonnes, it will be almost impossible should the Tesla battery run out of power to rub it on your leg.
Unfortunately being the length of a football pitch, the mega-watt cell is at least twice as large as the triple-A batteries it will replace. Likewise costing close to A$240 million, Christmas gifts in Australia will still carry the tagline ‘Batteries are no included’
Commented Jaxon Kelly (34): ‘I get that we don’t want to miss England getting stuffed but this is a bit over the top. The battery is so large, I need binoculars to see the TV – and that’s not the kind of ‘remote’ that I was looking for. And I can tell you now, my wife’s going nowhere near her new vibrator’.
Although each battery is capable of powering 30,000 homes or one iPhone for an hour, it still need a power source. Explained a Tesla engineer: ‘We need a certain amount of wind to generated, so we’re going to connect it up to some of the Ashes sledging going on’.