The Truth about Goats
With ‘Black Friday’ a distant memory and a future cause for insolvency, Mr. Hassan Bukhari (42) has unveiled the latest addition to his family – a splendiferous, 70 inch wide-screen TV, supported on marble pillars and a load-bearing joist. Mr. Bukhari’s told stunned relatives, that his he has finally found eternal happiness; with a combination of HD algorithms and a panoramic view that would give an owl whiplash.
Mr. Bukhari has done what all men hope to achieve, which is to obscure an entire wall; in the process covering up an unsightly bay window and redundant front door. Mr. Bukhari predicts that this monster of a TV will both save his marriage, by simultaneously filling the gaping void in his soul and by making all conversation redundant.
Meanwhile his wife, Leah, was left confused, wondering what was wrong with their previous 60 inch, 52 inch and 40 inch sets? As far as she could see, they all showed the full range of channels and colours one might expect, but without being so large that they came with their own weather system.
Mr. Bukhari’s new TV is now one of the few manmade structures that can be seen from space and comes with its own Postcode. Mr. Bukhari declared: ‘Aristotle said it is during our darkest moments that we must focus to see the light, but he hadn’t got 4k resolution’.