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David Davis unsure what to get Jean-Claude Juncker for Secret Santa

The Brexit Secretary has expressed his concerns about what to get ‘the President who has everything’.  Having drawn Mr. Junker in the EU’s Secret Santa, Mr. Davis may well be forced to give him Big Ben, the keys to the Treasury or unfettered access to Kate Middleton.

Theresa May has set Mr. Davis a modest present budget of between £30-60bn, which rules out a hastily wrapped HS2 rail-link or Newcastle Utd.  However, the UK’s Brexit team are confident they can gift-wrap the entire British economy – the only concern is if Amazon Prime will deliver in time?

Having already given Mr. Juncker the UK’s laws, borders and a pair of socks, Mr. Davis is struggling to think what else would be can give, now that he is down to his last lump of coal.  Said one of the UK’s Brexit team: ‘David is regretting pulling Jean-Claude’s name out of a hat, but he’s going to regret it more when he fails to pull a trade agreement out of thin air’.

Despite that office gifts are supposed to remain secret, but Mrs May insisted that Mr. Davis must return with a Christmas sack filled with trade goodies, bound up with EU tape – or prepare to get a sack of a different kind.  Meanwhile Mr. Davis had hoped Santa would here is prayers, but as everyone knows – those who voted for Brexit are on the naughty list this year.

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This entry was posted on December 18, 2017 by in UK Politics and tagged , , , , , , , , , .

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