Flibbertigibbet News

The Truth about Goats

Saying Espresso with an ‘X’ won’t damage your health

Scientist have confirmed that mispronouncing up to three cups of artisan coffee a day, has no noticeable impact on your health – but it will make you look like ‘a … Continue reading

January 31, 2018 · Leave a comment

Doomsday Clock forgot to factor in British Summer Time

The Bulletin of the Atomic Scientists (BAS) has admitted an error in calculating the end of the world; partly down to nuclear proliferation but mainly caused by a confusion between … Continue reading

January 30, 2018 · Leave a comment

Syphilitic remains found in Foreign Office may be Boris

Scientists believe to have discovered the mummified, nannified and pickled remains of Alexander Boris de Pfeffel Johnson – the last curse of the pharaohs and the Presidents’ Club.  This has … Continue reading

January 29, 2018 · Leave a comment

Caption Competition: Prince Harry has denied accusations of racism.

WINNER: Prince Harry has denied accusations of racism. (from John Traynor)   RUNNERS UP You’re my firework now, Dave (from SortaChuck) Trump’s new hairdryer? (from ZZRMark) They are all just … Continue reading

January 28, 2018 · 2 Comments

Henry Bolton’s wife’s ‘I told you so’ face enters its second month

UKIP’s national executive has backed a vote of no confidence by Mr Bolton’s three wives and numerous au pairs.  Political commentators are saying it is a rejection of the UKIP … Continue reading

January 25, 2018 · Leave a comment

Anyone without a bed can sleep on my couch, says Hunt

The Health Secretary has kindly offering to tackle the NHS over-crowding crisis by making use of his ‘emergency futon’.  Critics have suggested that he is out of touch, but Mr. … Continue reading

January 24, 2018 · Leave a comment

Proctologist finds Narnia

Dr. Richard Ahuja has stunned medical circles by discovering a fantasy land, even more implausible than an amicable Brexit.  Using a portal situated in an elderly patient’s rectum, Dr. Ahuja … Continue reading

January 23, 2018 · Leave a comment

‘Stop needless waste’ campaign – starts with Theresa May

Environmentalist are targeting a significant reduction in the amount of Theresa May over the coming year, with their eventual hope of eradicating the indiscriminate dumping of all toxic policies.  Landfill … Continue reading

January 22, 2018 · Leave a comment

Caption Competition: Bukkake party gets out of hand.

WINNER: Bukkake party gets out of hand. (from ZZRMark) RUNNERS UP: Remainers head for Europe (from ZestyPlank) “Then they said I was badgering them!” (from Inchcock) The Calais Christmas Cracker … Continue reading

January 21, 2018 · 3 Comments

Reformation (play script)

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