The Truth about Goats
The University sector has greeted the appointment, as a regulator, of The Honourable Toby ‘I destroy schools as a hobby’ Young, with muted applause. In fact many academics likened it to putting King Herod in charge of nursery provision.
Not one to duck the difficult decisions- like who to annoy today – Mr. Young is tasked with applying ‘market forces to higher education’, with a big bottle of kerosene and a match. As head of the New Schools Network, Mr. Young’s current job is to implement cutting-edge educational ideas, found by looking through old copies of ‘The Bash Street Kids’.
Mr. Young’s previous educational experience, alongside inserting his head in Michael Gove’s rectum, includes co-founding and then co-messing-up a West London school. Explained one of Toby’s successful graduates, as he stacked shelves: ‘Never one to pass up a free lunch, Toby is a passionate advocate for ‘free’ schools; if by free you mean free to ignore the curriculum, tax returns and teaching qualifications’.
Commented one Oxford Don: ‘The first question that faces any University regulator is how the f$ck Mr. Young got into University in the first place and what idiot told him he had passed?’