The Truth about Goats
Tory councillors have demanded a crackdown on aggressive freeloaders invited to the Royal Wedding. However, police fear that once they have arrested all the beggars and meth users there will be no one left in the Royal Party.
With a straight face, Councillor Simon Dudley is said to be outraged that anyone would use this wedding to sponge off the state. Although the main offenders are said to be a pair of aged lushes called Liz and Phil.
There are concerns that tourism could be damaged by the sight of Princess Anne asking for loose change or Prince Andrew offering hand-jobs for a Greggs’ pasty.
Subsequently there has been a steep rise in vagrancy as well, yet friends of Prince Harry say that the only one sleeping with a “bit a rough’ was him. One said: ‘That a member of the Royal Family should be expected to get a job or pay rent beggar’s belief’.