Flibbertigibbet News

The Truth about Goats

Microbeads – Bad for the environment but good for your anus

While many aquatic lifeforms will be celebrating the UK’s ban on microbeads, those focused on rectal stimulation will be feeling the thick end of the wedge.  Sadly in an attempt … Continue reading

January 18, 2018 · Leave a comment

Carillion used May’s ‘strong and stable’ cement mix

Construction giant Carillion is on the verge of collapse after taking building advice from Theresa May – a leader with all the durability of aluminum siding.  Unbeknownst to Carillion, the … Continue reading

January 17, 2018 · Leave a comment

Kids’ Facebook ‘ideal’ for imaginary friends

The social network has announced it intends to target under 13’s who have friends that are ‘as fictitious as Facebook’s own tax returns’.  This lucrative market would allow a kid … Continue reading

January 16, 2018 · Leave a comment

Windsor ‘beggar ban’ targets Princess Michael of Kent

Tory councillors have demanded a crackdown on aggressive freeloaders invited to the Royal Wedding.  However, police fear that once they have arrested all the beggars and meth users there will … Continue reading

January 15, 2018 · Leave a comment

Caption Competition: Get me a flute and a tractor quickly. I can still manage a whistle whilst I wait…!

WINNER: Get me a flute and a tractor quickly. I can still manage a whistle whilst I wait…! (from David Thomas) RUNNERS UP Critics of Conservative plastic reduction policy fully … Continue reading

January 14, 2018 · 4 Comments

Blair: ‘I didn’t help Trump…but it does sound like the kind of thing I would do’.

A sheepish ex-Prime Minister was forced to deny collusion with the Trump election campaign, but also confirmed that it was the sort ‘weasel-ish thing’ that he would done, if only … Continue reading

January 11, 2018 · Leave a comment

May reshuffles chairs on Titanic

Today, members of the Cabinet swap positions for the best view of the historic sinking of HMS Austerity, while the band continues to play ‘Nearer, My Brexit, to Thee’.  With … Continue reading

January 10, 2018 · Leave a comment

Toby Young? You’ve got to be f$cking joking!

The University sector has greeted the appointment, as a regulator, of The Honourable Toby ‘I destroy schools as a hobby’ Young, with muted applause.  In fact many academics likened it … Continue reading

January 9, 2018 · 2 Comments

Lord Adonis is still a funny name

Despite his resignation over some issue or other, about a thing or whatever, the public are agreed that they cannot get past the ridiculousness of Lord Adonis’ name or the … Continue reading

January 8, 2018 · Leave a comment

Reformation (play script)


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